In athletics I used to shout ‘after you’ before the finish line so they’d give me a medal anyway

Installing a whine cellar for my bottled up emotions

Surreal to finally see my brother and sister in person, like I grew up watching these guys

Read my first newspaper in years, consider my mind sharpened and my shoulder dislocated from turning those big pages

No tears scattering Dad’s ashes yesterday cause I’m doing dry January

Djokovic forgetting you’re supposed to come up with some bullshit exemption to AVOID playing sport. I for one am not playing in the Australian Open cause I forgot my kit

Shout out to insomnia, the biggest pillow fight of all

In my day there were no baby sitters, we found out what babies stood for

Sydney offices facing small talk boom as it is both “hot out there today” and “supposed to rain tomorrow”

Each Euphoria character offers a timely reminder to check yourself beuphoria wreck yourself

I used to accidentally repeat stories to my friends a lot but now I just say “I think I’ve already told you this” and say it again anyway

Mozart’s true genius was somehow knowing that if you’re making music at age 5, no one wants to hear your lyrics

Batman back on his Simon Leviev bullshit of needing money to defeat his enemies

Huge new ep as Freddie McManus returns to talk all about Exeter. Cheesy Tuesdays, the Lemmy, singing Robbie Williams, hero pigeons, old timey riddles and how to sweet talk a bouncer. Lot of info, lot of laughs.

Telling the grim reaper “just here’s fine” while still a decent walk away from the gates of hell

“Text me when ur home safe” clingy baseball player

Try not to drink on weekdays so I can really focus on the worst part of my week before blacking out during the best part

Come to Ben Kochan’s album recording tomorrow to watch him abandon 10 years of incredible material and open with this instead

6 weeks away from my Sydney Fringe Comedy show, book below and use promo code ‘PLEASE’ to ask nicely TIX: aucentury.sales.ticketsearch.com/sales/saleseve…

We are delighted to announce this year's Best Newcomer Nominees! - Aiden Wilcox and Isaac Haigh - Andrew Hamilton - Bron Lewis - Freddie McManus - @hehuangcomedy - Ray O'Leary - Sashi Perera micf23.au/AwardNominees