Nicer weather just urges me to drink

MATHEW BARZAL WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! 🤯 Mat Barzal

Direct Deposit: $1,400 At the gas station: Fill her up

Girlfriends don’t understand #themasters smh

Why couldn’t my Asian win 😭

This is elite. I’m going to start bowing to the bar tender once we’re back open 100%

Broo i cry every time a color blind kid puts on those shades that allows them to see color for the first time

“Babe let’s do a wine & cheese board”

I wish it was Hasbulla on your lap

How is having a Tranny on the cover of sports illustrated a “historic moment in woman’s history” please elaborate

Everyone who got traded in the MLB went yard this weekend lol

👀

After seeing Billie in concert i still stand by this. Except now i cut myself as well

My yearly tweet on who will win the #Masters2022 even though none of my 6 followers care 1. Cam Smith 15/1 2. Brooks Koepka 20/1 3. 🐯 50/1 4. @maxhoma23 80/1 5. Molinari 320/1

LOL how does this give chills.. what else is he supposed to say

I’m wondering if my sisters can workout without posting it on Instagram

Anyone who likes Happy Dad is a fraud. And I’m tired of seeing people hype it up…. 0/10

When my girlfriend orders another dirty martini and I want to go home

If Biden can carry his own bag 18 holes.. I’ll vote for him