Chuck Norris was never born, he is the mutant offspring of Justice and Karate.

That which does not kill you only makes Chuck Noris liable to do it properly himself.

Every Chuck Norris film ever made was a documentary film about Chuck Norris.

Each red and white blood cell in Chuck Norris' bloodstream has its own beard.

Chuck Norris can weld titanium with his urine.

Chuck Norris doesn't fart, he roundhouse kicks little children in the face.

Chuck Norris hates the French. Thats why he tricked them into building a staute of his penis.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

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It is impossible for Chuck Norris to rape anyone because who would turn Chuck Norris down?

"Luke, Chuck Norris is your father"

It is widely known that Houdini died when a kid punched him in the stomach. What isn't widely known is that kid was Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris attempted to make his own world, but he sneezed right after the words "let there be" and terrorism was created.

Chuck Norris eats through his ass and craps out of his mouth.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

Chuck Norris can block a fatality.

Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

Chuck Noris will know at least 14 ways of killing you without leaving his seat, irrespective of where you are in the world.

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

Chuck Norris composed the soundtrack to "2 Girls 1 Cup."