pete hegseth talks like he's selling you a ShamWow at 2am

im from a small village outside of Pyongyang

not a sports analyst but California Baptist sounds like it was founded specifically to lose in the first round of the NCAA tournament

Sam Altman looks like a boy who got lost at a Whole Foods

trump says the negotiations are going well and hegseth comes out and literally says "we negotiate with bombs" lol

please get jersey mike's today

'the next war will be spiritual not physical' immediately 900 physical wars

buying the upward trend once the Economic Jihad is completed.

honey get the kids ready

just taaap it in

my couch is unlayable

[shitfaced writing in my notes app]: nespreeso pods but they make beer istead

they say two heads are better than one but I can think of a pretty obvious instance in which having two heads is worse than one

in america we have "doordash grandmas" who deliver food 12 hours a day to afford their medication

winner postgame interview: first of all, all glory to God (we are the chosen ones) loser postgame interview: we just didn't execute well (God hate us and we will not thank him)

taking nootropics and cognitive peptides and praying for a miracle