If spiders were pink, would people like them more?

@professoryaffle I think you may have just answered my question.

Please can I be in the symphony orchestra for the next Star Trek series' theme tune, should there be one? Thanks.

Seven of Nine is a handsome woman.

Nettle tea is beautiful!

Anybody called Will I can borrow some power from?

And it's Goan fish curry time. Where's me pestle and mortar...?

"BOR-ING!". That's my new catch phrase. Semi-shouted in a quasi sing-song fashion, as if mocking. Everyone should have a catch phrase.

I'm monster proofed.

The Wonder Stuff’s Miles Hunt & Erica Nockalls play Reading, Poole, Carlisle & Derby this week. For tickets links go to tiny.cc/gwefp

Miles + Erica Oct acoustic dates... 19 READING (Sub89), 20 POOLE (Mr Kips), 22 CARLISLE (The Brickyard), 23 DERBY (Victoria Inn). Come!

You don't see very many jelly moulds these days. I've got a bunny one, but it came out looking like road kill.

Professor Brian Cox is lovely. I'd like to go for a pint with him. I do like it when people know what they're on about.

Hanging.

I'm now taking oil painting commissions for Christmas. Take a look! ericanockalls.com/gallery.htm

When Michelin strip a chef of his star, does that mean they can't charge as much for their overpriced fiddly bits of pretentious guff?

@cu3ik like the tear motif. I've not worked in acrylics before - how would you compare it to oil? I hear it comes off easier!

Reading service station garage toilets and been fallen on twice by a pissed punter. Nothing a Dettol bath won't fix.

I'm really looking forward to the menopause.

Poirot just seems to attract trouble.