I am absolutely not ready to go back to work I need at least 3 more months 🥴

I would love some avocado I’ve been craving it so badly, but it makes me SO sick. I get a phantom stomach pain when I even think about eating it 😭

It’s hard not to feel complicit. As high income nations squabble over whether to vaccinate the youngest and least vulnerable, much of the world has yet to vaccinate their absolute most vulnerable. Global inequities run deep. But this is a particularly egregious one.

This is the most amazing dad shit I’ve ever seen. Dude let the baby go, caught the ball, recovered the baby mid air, only spilled a drop of beer and the baby didn’t drop the bottle. Legendary!

Has anyone ever written the "Girl Scouts cookie sales is basically just training girls to join MLMs" piece?

Sorry to my kids and husband because this is now the best day of my life

Sam Darnold watching the Trubisky revenge game during preseason like

Ben Roethlisberger outside the pocket

Are the Steelers okay????? 😵‍💫

Me

I can’t 🤣🤣🤣🤣

America’s Ruling Class: “Some of you may have to pay more for gas, but that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

The fourth shrek should have never been made is a hill I will die on

I want to be the kind of mom that has a mature sourdough starter in her fridge at all times but I’m just not 😵‍💫

Crutched up… foot casted.. DON’T MATTER If Joey Chestnut can somehow match his total of 76 Hot Dogs & Buns from last year’s contest, this year.. I’ll give 76 folks that retweet this tweet $150. 🗣🗣🗣 LET’S GOOOO JOEYYYY 🗣🗣 PAHND THOSE DOGS JOEYYY

Me to josh every day: are you sure, like are you SURE you don’t want one more baby after this?😭😭 him: I am SURE

Congrats to the Boys Flag Football Team! They won the Heartland JV Flag Football Championship!

We used to be a proper country.

Congratulations Chase Beachel! 6th place in the High Jump.

I love this nerdy kid from Worcester who's at the Olympics just to do pommel horse and only pommel horse and he is literally Team USA's best chance at Olympic gold for just pommel horse. And today he's literally just hanging out until it's time for pommel horse. LOVE HIM.