Issue 17 is here 🪻 w/ features from Harriet Rix, Isobel Thompson & Jo, investigations by Clive Martin & Emma Magnus, dispatches from sarah haque & @joe_zadeh; shorts from bertie & Fergus Butler-Gallie and illos by Davey Jones and Nishant Choksi the-fence.com/subscribe

me two days ago when it was raining: this world is a dark and cruel place devoid of any beauty me today: this is a blessèd day full of hope and possibility. i am happy simply to exist

sorry but look at this. a man put his bottle on the bench (on international chest day no less) simply to reserve it while he used the cables. left it there for 10 mins and didn't use it. my purpose in life is to punish this unthinkably selfish behaviour

wish to god i'd bought this horrible card last week ("congratulations on your retirement")

Labyrinth used to come to the restaurant I worked at. He'd order a ribeye, medium rare with peppercorn sauce. He often came with two friends who both wore earphones (bit rude as Labyrinth paid for their steaks). Every time I saw him outside, I said quietly: "Labyrinth, come in"

yes glastonbury may be tiring but try being deep into the euros AND the tour de france. we're talking 8 hours a day of televised sport here, and that's not to mention the analysis or the pods. not for the faint-hearted let me tell you

this has humiliatingly revealed that I spelled Labrinth's name wrong. it WON'T happen again

In December, I bought a lost suitcase at Greasby's auction house, the most interesting place in the world, for British GQ. Spoiler: it was full of Next clothes gq-magazine.co.uk/article/luggag…

- hello chair supplier - hi, how can we help? - i'm looking for chairs with very long backs, double the standard measurement - uh huh - for my office. I'd like them made of very hard wood - yes - the seat should be very low. i'd like my employees to feel tiny and impotent - sure

ah, a blessèd weekend with my two favourite magazines The Fence Magazine

keeping my twitter account but I have also defected: emmafmagnus.bsky.social

Issue 23 Is Here 🦈 With writing from Leo Robson, Róisín Lanigan, The author, Séamas O'Reilly, Jimmy McIntosh, William Rayfet Hunter, Louis Staples, David Whitehouse, Emma Magnus, Ciaran Thapar & more the-fence.com/shop

Just a bit of fun

I loved to write this