I hope they're teaching him to: Share. Play fair. Not to hit people. Put things back where he found them. Clean up his own messes. Not to take things that aren't his. Say sorry when he hurts somebody. And to wash his hands before he eats in bed.

Philly-delphia freedom 🦅

Buckingham Palace firing up the gaslight right now.

Trump's policy guidebook- Chapter One: "Believe Me."

Even the balloons are hesitating to support Trump's nomination!! #RNCinCLE

Bloomberg is the stiff uncle you have to be nice to at Thanksgiving because he gives you a check at Christmas.

#dontboo #vote

Basing my next vacation on the best opening ceremony outfits

Let's be honest, the health issue that's been the biggest problem for Hillary Clinton this election is two X chromosomes.

"The security aspect of cyber is tough." I can't. #Debates

Kinda crazy when your entire chance of victory hinges on a demographic described as "uneducated"

When's the race to the cornucopia?

Shopping feels like an insane multiple choice test that I have definitely not studied for.

The president is in the midst of a 70-year nervous breakdown- sad!

Is anything more confusing than other people's remotes?

Why is anyone surprised about Harvey Weinstein when Donald Trump's "pussy tape" was released a month before we elected him president?

One day soon we’ll all be dead from mass shootings and the people who inhabit this country after us can start over with no 2nd amendment. 👍🏼

Hey Glassdoor, Ari & I think it would be awesome if you helped women know if they're getting paid less than their male counterparts. You have our gender, position, experience, location, salary. Let's start calling out companies on gender pay gaps. #InternationalWomensDay