Man it's so embarrassing watching a couple who are too liberal to discipline their dog that's barking at everyone at the bar, they're like "Chester please, please no! Chester no!" Man, Chester does not respect you and everyone here knows it.

@BIGOLMRTRON Stitch Witchery RL_SAVAGE how fast can we make lean with this?

The problem with bigfoot is the same problem with UFOs; they're real, but if you're trying to see them without mushrooms - good fucking luck

"Sarah Silverman: All dogs are named Maggie" YOMAYNE

i DONT THiNK PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT i DONT GO TO MY CONCERTS TO PERFORM ... i GO TO GET BLACK OUT DRUNK & PARTY WiTH YOUR CiTY AND YOUR FACE

We apologize for the inconvenience on the canceled events!

"The most loathsome inventions bear the names of their inventors – Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, Ulysses S. Internet, Johann Sebastian Beyblade."

"Thor had Mjolnir, Elliott had Wrath." -an actual quote from a dumbass

"OH SHIT" -another quote from the same dumbass, whose racquetball racquet just smote his patio light

Someone added their routine to the crossfit area's dry erase board in the gym

I don't know much about crossfit, but this seems about on par

You don't come up with shit like this from drinking milk instagram.com/p/n64PMhJyDm/

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity meets powerful spells meets a number of buried blood charms meets sheer dumb luck.

Pleth

Good morning from me and double rainbow

You're looking at the oldest human poop ever discovered. bit.ly/1mfJROa 50K years old, to be precise.

FIVE HUNDRED