i shall find a room to rent in andersonville, for i am pure of heart

if you’re not talking seussical, i don’t wanna talk

in my mind’s eye, people who use AI and adults that are super into disney occupy the same little corner that i have no interest in engaging with

if you or someone you know has a room available to rent in or near andersonville, i’ll kiss you on the mouth if you let me rent it

it is not too late to begin your chaka khan summer

the hottest club in chicago

FUCK ITALIANS

italy is a beautiful nation, it is a shame it is wasted on the fucking italians

it is with deep regret that i announce the onset of flo rida summer

Happy 4th of July!

wearing a tuxedo to wrigley field tomorrow

when i get married someday (if god wills it) i want the ceremony and the reception to be on the 147 outer dusable lake shore drive express

i am so hot in wisconsin

i put on this earth to put “hella good” by no doubt on the touchtunes

everyone on this red line car has great tattoos

joe keery is a man with great hair from newburyport, massachusetts who has made his living romanticizing the city of chicago and allow me to say STAY IN YOUR LANE

i love cubs baseball and spending 8 billion dollars on a light beer

you are closer to indiana than you think

my kingdom for a bunch of fucking oysters

i have a month left of my twenties, after which time i will either get really hot or walk into traffic