Just the tip.

I really need an orgasm right now.

Me and who?

I think I am ovulating.

I just saw a hot mom at the restaurant spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground. I decided to throw my fries on the ground, too.

Pretty sure bike is short for Bichael.

The northern lights are incredible tonight.

I’m still hungry

assflash newshole

Do you prefer real ones or fake ones? (Trees)

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be ok.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too silly of a goose.

The child who had to grow up too fast became the adult who doesn't know how to rest. They keep moving and keep working, because stillness doesn't feel safe. The moment they slow down, guilt sets in. Like the world will collapse without them. Like they're wasting time.

This is going to be the year I get a kiss under the cameltoe I just know it.

Daily advice: WASH YOUR ASS.

Off to be antisocial.

Woke up feeling like an absolute menace today. Buckle up.

I would make a sex tape in this hotel suite 🤔

Sorry, I gotta go home and feed my wall socket a fork.

T-Pain’s full name is Tylenol Painrelief.