I asked my friend what the WiFi password is and he says “idk it’s in Spanish”

If I see this at my door, I’m blasting right through it

My son is asleep. I’m scrolling through old pictures of us- all the way back to the beginning. I’m having a moment. I find this picture from the hospital, one of the first photos ever of us together. I notice a pair of my gym shorts in the background. I pause for a second. I look

It’s called “Summer”

Dr. Johnny Then I’m team Johnny!

Had ourselves a day

We’re all lucky to be Americans 🇺🇸

I would rather eat broken glass than go to a Keinemusik show

Alligator Alcatraz is exactly what I voted for

You had to be home as soon as the streetlights went on or you were losing your favorite toy

Can I have $500?

11:11

SHOUTOUT TO whoever take care of my name when I'm NOT in the room

I bet we could get crackheads to clean up the whole city for a bag of toots

Mental illness:

Eric Adams posted a GRWM TikTok making breakfast at 9am but the clock clearly says 11am 😂

It’s literally Ozempic

There are so many stupid people. I would say the majority of people are stupid.

Bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies