this right here is the one thing for which i am living

ran out of cat food this morning and they've acted like i dropped a fucken nuke on their cushy little lives. howling, scratching, hissing, slamming each other into the stairs, poking me with claws. obnoxious. there's still food in the bowls from yesterday by the way

real sick of waking up

personally, if i were taylor swift, i would not announce a new album on my dweeb ass football boyfriend who cannot read's podcast

when it turns out travis kelce is cheating, you heard it here first

hellooo i need some #PokemonGOfriends from the Sandstorm and Ocean regions (working on Vivillion medal) please add me 4552 8925 1387 #PokemonGo

i need a drink. like i need to mainline that shit

it appears i was tired this morning

that one wigger you went to high school with who’s now a welder

yellow tomatoes > red tomatoes

gonna bake a cake

got this augustus gloop lookin ass mf being judged by judy

if anyone is interested in hookin' me up with one of the reds floppy hats given away today, please message me 🤞🏻

is he deceased or is this just not a great account lol

more and more francona sounds like a man with the walls closing in upon him, hanging onto delusion to stay afloat before the torpedo blasts us out of the playoffs

can i interest u in a sardine donut

made a cake

just paid $24 before tip for 2 shitty makers and cokes at some terrible brewery full of children in college hill. i hate leaving my house

imagine being this thing

popeyes has the best spicy chicken sandwich in the game. also the best gravy. lee's has the superior biscuits. that is all that really matters.