Dogs shouting over the storm of progress, “LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE—“ as the Angel of History nods and sheds a single tear.

Dogs banging a shoe on a desk at the UN, insisting, "CASH— RULES EVERYTHING— AROUND ME."

Dogs smacking you awake with a rolled up newspaper, insisting, "Don't rank Cuomo."

Dogs reminding you that capitalism doesn't work.

Dogs prefacing an endless scream, "Just remember—"

Dogs explaining to a disengaged smartphone, “I’ll kill you all.”

Dogs reading the nightly news and pausing to listen to a producer through an earpiece before interrupting, "This just in—America is the land of snitches."

Dogs announcing, "IF YOU WERE WAITING FOR A SIGN—" and punching you in the face, adding, "THIS IS IT."

Dogs wondering aloud in the Situation Room, "Are we the baddies?"

Dogs lighting you on fire and shouting in your face, “I MOVED YOUR CHEESE.”

Dogs going back to the future to explain what a landlord was, "A landlord was a person who was guilty of precrime."

Dogs going back in time to kill whoever invented the internet.

Dogs lying dead under a gravestone reading “I WOKE UP LIKE THIS.”

Dogs considering all existence and wondering aloud, "Could I not?"

Dogs gesturing vaguely toward all existence, observing, "Rides and attractions—" and gesturing vaguely in the other direction, adding, "Nonstop actions."

Dogs watching as a mushroom cloud blossoms along the horizon and welcoming the embrace of the blast wave as it rends flesh from bone, observing, "Once more, with feeling!"

Dogs stammering, “I— I—“ and confessing at last, “I fucked the Merovingian kings of France.”

Dogs punching you in the face, explaining, "Hello we are your bank."

Dogs going back to the future and immediately standing trial.

Dogs pitching a panel of venture capitalists, "It's an app that makes you older every time you look at it."