Gold Medal for the BME Pain Olympics goes to...

When you put a tweet idea on the back burner so you dont make too many bomb tweets at once, but then you forget it. Nothing worse...

Dreaming to be Tim Duncan, Still looking like Majin Buu.

To be fair, my bank shot is less than stellar.

Youve never seen bliss until you tell my dad Hardee’s brought the real deal back.

For you Drew Shuman Happy Birthday bb <3

Arrival is a masterpiece. Please do yourself a treat and go watch #doeCares

Sometimes you just find love at Golden Corrals salad bar... Sometimes you dont.

Fuck G-Baby

When you cant tell if your finger is swollen because theyre already too sausage<<

When you realize Elyes Gabel has the pipes of a god!>> #roughenedverseelyes

Wow. Hyde read that like a book.

I cant imagine the football game in Aaron Rodgers 's bedroom tonight. #TOUCHDOWN

I love my Green Bay Packers . Were due for a ring sizing.

Have you ever known a more charismatic weatherbro?

Someone left a pepsi bottle filled with apple juice on the side of the road

There are 2 different types of people: People who kiss ass and people who eat it.

Hey Charcandrick West , Dillon Cramer wants to know if youre coming to celebrate this momentous occasion? #ChiefsKingdom

If you have a NASCAR sticking to your vehicle and hot driving the speed limit, Youre a hypocrite, unless its a Danica Patrick sticker.

Kissing hands & Shakin babies