oh y’all mourning a historic cathedral??? That’s neat I’m over here mourning for *googling “suffering around world april 2019”*

if someone says you are worth your weight in gold it means they are planning to trade you for some gold and you need to get out of there.

“I don’t ever want to see Crocs™ on my credit card statement again, young man” - Dad, last week

Amen brother

only every time my phone rings

Even if i could go to a gym right now I wouldnt because of all the weird flexes

yeah uhm naw

US surpasses China in number of confirmed COVID19 cases

Fun things to do while isolated in the city: • yell “bless you!” everytime the transit buses air breaks release • without getting up, try to remember where you left keys, wallet, parked car • have another cup of coffee • yell “bless you!” every time the transit buses air brea

Not even satire cbc.ca/news/business/…

It's time to get the gang back together! ... what do you think Slinger, Quach, and Hall are up to these days? 🤨 mathemagic Saw a Chupacabra in the back up camera

PLS STOP LAUGHING. white women only do this when they’re VERY stressed or in pain

choose your fighter

I still don’t know who Eminem is referring to when he says ‘Carson Daly’

May the Fourth, 2019, I went to a Star Wars burlesque show [really a low-budget, community theatre production] in Vancouver and got outrageously drunk with the gang

man, Lorelai sure messed things up with Luke

Might start going to the gym— just cut myself on a wax paper fry bag.

Unsurprisingly Kingston, Ontario nothing like Kingston, Jamaica

made my first big move of the day: put flip flops on and checked the mail

I have far more patience for flies than I do for people. Especially for flies at airports.