She went bug mode on it and all I got was this stupid t shirt

Me if going bug mode on it was made illegal

Your mans signed my Nosferatu contract for a little bit of gold 🤣🤣 now I get to Orlok you in your dreams 😂😂🦇

Sharks… I’m again asking for $10,000 to research the feasibility of injecting whey protein into nerds gummy clusters to create the food of the gods, the perfect balanced meal for lifters, blue collar workers, ethereal girls alike

Anybody trying to go half on some weight? 5lbs spilt evenly is roughly a kilo each which I would be willing to front until you were able to run and flip it. The plan is ideally to sell enough where we can both eat clusters for free eventually, hit me on the signal

She drive on my Mul til I hollar’n

Bro why does putting a q tip in my ear feel sooo good? My brother in Christ you are stimulating cranial nerves V3, VII, and X with one move… what did you expect?? you essentially just put a DBS right on your brainstem fam 😆😆 Ps if you feel CN IX you went too deep Jeffrey Balzer

Googling if clairo has a boyfriend and then getting sad

“Sir a second impractical joker has been hit with credible sexual assault allegations, thankfully it’s not Sal Vulcano”

Got my haircut at sportsclips, where do I apply

Essentially have slept on my side w a kyphotic cervical posture my whole life. Fuck my gamer neck ass life

Really hate when somebody is talking and their siri-device accidentally says something and the entire room literally slaps their knee and foams out their mouth from laughing so hard. It ain’t that funny dawg

All this talk about B2 bombers got me thinking about us. How every time we linked it was the bomb. Makes you wonder to 2 B or not 2 B 🥀 Anyways; tell your mom I said hello. Also remember when you let me bust your bunker?

Thinking about how people call girls crazy without asking what made them crazy #hudaloveisland

Still talking Marshall’s sugar free coffee syrup orally instead of intravenously? Pathetic,, I’ll be at Cmax hours before you.. ps we don’t wear jean jackets and black jeans in the future

no one has come close in 2025 i’m sorry

Espresso Mamdani

Smoking that shit made Stanley flat