"So can u tell me more about yourself ?" Me trying to remember who i am:

Leo nimebonga na maboyz pale Mathari and I can confidently say that about 70% of them are smart.Leo hapo nimefunzwa science,technology ,philosophy,astrology,music,global and local geo politics na mpaka tukaanza kuongelelea history vitu za evolution and stuff. Like these men know

But why?😂😂😂

Traffic officers after finding all your documents are valid. "Why are you driving in crocs?"

"You have a special way of speaking that makes people appreciate your silence"

Was laughing with my crush and my nose blew a bubble 😭😅

Cashier: "Your child will be very happy" 36 year old me:

*Its me uncle yusuf who carried you when you were 4yrs old* Me:

Feminists when they realise they’ve been thinking and not thinkqueen

thenameismario🦇🍀 When they realize that it's manicure and not womanicure

thenameismario🦇🍀 Feminist when they're called heroes instead of sheroes

Bro to bro: Don’t let the pressure of those eating their harvest make you eat your seeds.

These ill*gal streaming websites are so professional these days. They got the skip intro and next episode features and even remember where I last watched. They don't even have the ads telling me I won an iPhone or sexy singles 2km away. We've come a long way man wow.

mfs one day before the exam :

I saw someone say “forget age gap, have you ever been in an intelligence gap relationship?”

How deadbeat dads will be sleeping in January knowing simps will pay for their kid's school fees

Bitches be like “I read books!” and it’s some rape fantasy porn novel

I hate myself for not uploading a 10 hour video of a fireplace or rain to YouTube a decade ago

me in 2011 instead of learning Javascript