No one obsesses like i do and its honestly the greatest disservice istg

my BPD hypersexuality = a dog with one brain cell in heat all the time, and no i will not elaborate

I do not want to be perceived

I am so self aware with my bpd and its honestly so painful bc I know when things are getting bad again and I know what to do to stop it but I just...dont do them. Or I know how to practice mindful thinking and I just dont. Self sabatoge feels good and I know its bad for me

I hate today. Its just a reminder of my perpetual daddy issues

BPD greed is my most obsessive emotion I can trace back almost all of my rage, splits, & numb episodes from greed All of my wants, fears, desires, likes- the attempts at obtaining attention, avoiding abandonment, being loved - they all come from how greedy I am

Im never going to get better and im tired of trying. Its easier to fall into bad habits and spiral and split. Why would I want to keep working on being a better person when doing so is so exhausting? Why keep it up when it feels so hopeless?

All I feel is guilt. Guilt that Im never good enough. Guilt for always being a disappointment. Guilt from carrying the weight of others emotions. Guilt from disrespecting myself. Guilt from giving too much. Guilt from not giving enough. Guilt for exisiting. All I feel is guilt.

Found out my ex with mommy issues did something so outrageous that it gave me closure. You just honestly have no idea how validating that is.

I find it a curse to feel everything so deeply. A body was not meant to hold such oceanic volume of emotion. I wish I could expel the turbulent waves that crash into my insides & make my skin white hot. Its haunting how freely I welcome numbness so as to not feel for a while

The bpd urge to overshare and trauma dump my entire past so no one can ever find out anything truly secret about me and use it as ammunition to hurt me because I refuse to let someone have the ability to really truly know me enough to be able to have power over me again

I wish I wasnt so alone

I dont want my body or my brain anymore. I wish I could seperate them. This brain thinks to much and this body feels the thoughts too deeply.

How can I be gentle with myself when no one has ever been gentle to me?

How do I tell my bpd brain to shut the fuck up, im tryna do something

Bpd people have mommy and daddy issues and no i will not elaborate

You think ppl with BPD are weak? Try experiencing anxiety at mach 100. Or loneliness that make you drown at the bottom of the ocean. Or rage thats so explosive youre a volcano. Or happiness that fills you up so high you plummet. That takes intense strength to deal with 24/7