I wrote this episode. See ya.

Not a great night for my card tower.

Did a demon just release from everyone else's phone too?

I wrote tonight’s episode of Family Guy. Please watch it. I had to reset my login to tweet this so make my hard work worth it.

He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!

I wrote tonight’s episode of Family Guy. It airs at 9:30 PM on Fox and if you try this with your headphones it’ll work.

I wrote tonight’s Family Guy and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Mother’s Day than by watching your uncle’s favorite show.

I wrote tonight’s Family Guy. It’s the perfect activity if you’re trying to avoid getting OMICRON, or have OMICRON, or are an OMICRON.

Ever hear a garbage truck drive by and for a split second think that the world is ending?

It'd be fun if horses and penguins switched dicks for a day.

I wrote tonight’s Family Guy. If you don’t watch for me, or the show, watch for all the prescription drug commercials that are keeping network television alive.

Every generation of Mets fan gets their playoff game where it proves that God isn’t real. Congratulations to the kids aged 8-14.

I wrote tonight’s Family Guy. It’s their 400th episode and I figured I’d tweet this out as one last sad gasp before the rubble covers us completely.

I wrote tonight’s Family Guy but did not write this Mr. Mom thing.

⁦⁦I wrote this with ⁦Shawn Ries. If you click the link we are called stalwarts twice which is a huge compliment in the stalwart community. hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-n…

Watch here or listen to wherever you listen to podcasts. instagram.com/reel/C8U9yq6yJ…