People are referring to 1991 as “half a century ago.”

THE UNBRIDLED GREATNESS OF TRAINS WILL ENDURE FOR A MILLION YEARS

“Trust and believe, hands WILL be wrung over this.”

You all started it and we fucking finished it.

Hannah Horvath’s mom just asked me what terminal we are in and I didn’t know the answer.

My parents talking about Alysa Liu like she’s some girl I went to Chinese school with, “You know she gets free ice cream for life now? Her dad wanted a son but only got daughters.”

The goodwill Heated Rivalry tried to provide USA Hockey…

Do people on Chinese social media see some out of pocket gay shit and go "ofc the location is Chengdu" like Twitter and Atlanta

Shared a hotel elevator with a guy clearly retrieving his Grindr hookup and on the way up the guy tries to make small talk, “It’s so busy. Is something going on in DC this week?” and his hookup says, “Well, we are at war.”

Social commentary like this is funny because what about the hordes of conservative men that not only exist but control all levers of society right now. Are you saying they aren’t role models or they are all queens…

Looking up things to do in Bologna and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe there’s an Equinox I can visit.

This man’s inevitable personal conduct scandal is going to be a cultural reset.

Journalism these days is retweeting something we can all see for ourselves with no contextualization.

“Microchip stocks slip slightly as Trump’s threat to end an entire civilization has investors feeling sheepish.”

The pothos in my home office, because it wasn’t close enough to the window.

Guy on my plane when asked by the flight attendant if there is anything under the seat in front of him. “My feet.” Asked if he would be able to place his backpack there. “No.” Maybe I’m too accommodating.

My foster kittens attacking the mirror:

Aidan Well… it’s showing up on your timeline so are you gay or a fat bitch?

My mom: You just don’t understand Eastern culture. We are honest because we want you to be better. Anyway, your cousin had a baby and they gave it the stupidest name ever.