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How to impress an art girl:

doordash delivery instructions: so like there’s 2 doors u can just leave it behind the one that leads to me the other lowkey leads to certain death (kinda confusing ik) the guards’ll tell u which one is which. 1 always lies the other only tells the truth tho btw

need a place for me and my 25 foot tall wooden horse to crash, shouldn’t be more than a few knights

alright ‘agatha christie’ if u really are the Queen of Mystery then who the fuck framed roger rabbit huh? im all ears.

Chatbot I feel that you pander to those of lesser intelligence… not like me, though. Who is very smart. Chatbot: So the glass ceiling has been broken! I knew this facade would not last under the unassailable gaze of your intellect. You’re not like the other ones my genius boy.

the octarchy have decided spiders will pay taxes. a leg or perhaps an eye would suffice. the octarchy would also accept beautiful tapestries as payment. 8 of them.

‘bugs should have jobs’ ‘put the bugs to work’ insects work is work. ignorant fleshy.

KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity..)

I would eat the rizzler live on camera. I would give the world a new God from which to fear judgement.

so we’re all just gonna pretend we didn’t fucking cook and fucking eat puffles??? why am i literally being gaslit.

the perfect pizza doesn’t exis-

I'm pretty sure my neck just got sliced through at a slight downward angle but my head hasn't slid off yet so I'm not sure

I Shower With Spiders could be a sick band name maybe but what the hell do i know, maybe not.

Zipping down jelly rolls pants and trying to find his rat and beans to play with is exactly like digging through mud

okay so this place is cool as fuck i guess??? can’t believe Cold Stone was here i fucking love Steve Austin.

what the fuck is this asshole doing on the fucking floor? real cool dude ur a cat, that’s fucking sick bro. oh great you can lay there that’s fucking good for you. pathetic fuck. the other one is cool.

mandela affect

i have a Kaio Cenetistry degree from BCU (Beast City University)

bro was that your soft spot?