I just tried to lock the house door with the button on my car keys.

Doctor Who travels to a world where anywhere a camera isn’t pointing, an American riot cop shows up and starts beating you. All of society is architected around keeping lights on and cameras running. They experience a Carrington event. Everything goes dark. The screaming begins.

Oh you “love Obama”? Name 7 countries he’s bombed

Kanye West Seizes Opportunity To Be Most Rational, Coherent Presidential Candidate buff.ly/38AIJGK

This week is the latest proof that we need a 4-day workweek.

Biden Campaign Warns That For Debate Biden Will Need A Mask That Completely Conceals His Face And He Might Sound Different babylonbee.com/news/biden-cam…

Turns out 118 year old “William Bradley” voted via absentee ballot in Wayne County, Michigan. William Bradley died in 1984. How long has this been going on? Try it for yourself: mvic.sos.state.mi.us/Voter/Index

LMAOOO IM NEVER DELETING THIS APP

Just wait until you hear what he did to an entire wedding party in Yemen

If you liked Gamestop in January, you'll LOVE it in February

Middle Easterners Begin Painting Transgender Flag Colors On Doorposts To Avoid Biden Drone Strikes babylonbee.com/news/middle-ea…

The new Nintendo Switch

Make humanity a multiplanet species!

Fucking spider in my bed. Almost launched my laptop.

🇨🇳CHINA IS RUNNING OUT OF TRASH AND BUYING GARBAGE China burns so much waste for energy that their cities are literally running out of trash. Some plants are now paying $7 a ton to buy garbage just to keep the lights on. Yep, trash is officially more valuable than half the

The fireworks haters will be crying tonight.