Crisp sandwiches are so underrated

Got told I deserve a "mental man" last night 🙃 I've come across enough of them. Thanks anyway

Nothing like a Sunday stroll; with a coffee and a mate 💕

Watched the #KaliefBrowder story on Netflix; broke my fucking heart 💔

It's honestly so fucking draining trying to educate utter morons 🙄 I haven't got it in me today. I'm just guna allow them today!

Work: 6 x 6 hour shifts in 3 day Me: Yeah, fucking wonderful, thanks 🙄

No better feeling than a wardrobe clear out 🗑

Fathers day is mostly single women claiming they're playing the role of mum and dad 🙄 have a day off will you!

When your mum says "you look a bit swollen" she basically means you're a fat cunt 🙃 thanks Sam

I don't trust anyone who texts, instead of WhatsApp 🕵🏽‍♀️ dodgy motherfuckers

Why the fuck have birds got so much to talk about so early anyway?! 🐦 it's cute, but not at this hour!

Took a sleeping tablet at 1.30am... still waiting for it to kick in 🙄

The urge to say STFU when someone is talking to me is getting beyond now 🤫

I actually seen some nice stuff i wanted to order on #Wayfair, but, I'm too scared to order incase I get sent a child 😳

Anyone else sit in their car for half hour before they go in the house, or just me? 🙃

I cannot express enough how much the sound of someone eating loudly infuriates me 😤

If i don't get my nephy a PS5 my life won't be worth living 🙈