pleasuring myself to a 17th century poem

I'm the poor man's "even poorer man."

your password must contain a character... with a tragic backstory

peeled a banana too far, and now i must consume it as a coward

my therapist is frightened of me and my jar of fog

i'm starting to think some of these r&b songs are about sex

starting to suspect couples that “take a break” don’t come back stronger than ever

you could call me a coward, but only if you’re prepared for me to run away very quickly

my son shaichad wants to be a dragon for halloween. i told him no way. he needs to pick a real animal. like a shark or a bear or a unicorn

got kicked out of karate school for calling my sensei a fascist

told my therapist i’m fine and he said, “then why are you holding a sword?”

my brain runs Windows 95 and screams

drinking in the shower is not a sign of depression, addiction, and self-loathing. nay, it’s a sign of efficiency, convenience, and also hygiene

Damn girl are you a plunger cuz you keep pushing shit down until you just stop working.

when bae sees your junk for the first time:

they should make a movie where a retiring cop is partnered with a rookie who doesn't play by the rules & they have a really wacky day

i'm not unemployed, i'm just between vibes

i'm healing but in a suspicious way

Behold the 2020's, when, out of nowhere, everyone confidently wore really big hats.

Going over my journal from 5 years ago x.com/Rainmaker1973/…