Kung Fu Panda Express Lane 10 items or less

Life is a dream within a dumpster fire

It’s Monday, so you know your day really couldn’t get any worse

A silly Gus is sillier than a silly goose, hands down, no contest

reality is an escape room.

you’ve destroyed the sanctity of this gazebo you belligerent fool

A mime whispering sweet nothings to his imaginary girlfriend

23 year old posting: the past lays heavy on my soul, i am cruelly marked by my sins and the future is a waste of dust and fear, there is nothing left but waiting to die 39 year old posting: i love going to da movies

Fuck me up before you go-go

If you’re clapping and you know it clap your hands

No Gus, no glory

There are thousands of bug wars happening as we speak

I’m looking for just the right mix of sadness and sarcasm to make a tweet relatable enough to go viral