Can't wait to hear the southern Illinois folks lose their shit

If Marjorie Taylor Greene was progressive, would you...

If Mitch McConnell was a progressive, would you hit it?

Damn people are extra snippy on Twitter today!

I think spinning around really fast is how toddlers get high.

Those Japanese beetles don't give a shit. They're just hanging out on my cherry tree having sex.

I'm going to have a lot of tomatillos

Who the hell learns history from a statue?

How long will it take for that damn chipmunk to find it?

It's funny because the people who called others snowflakes about wanting to change the mascot are being snowflakes about this.

As Illinois’ public health department now wants residents to mask up indoors in public places, restaurant owners worry mandates may return next week with COVID-19 cases rising chicago.eater.com/2021/7/28/2259…

I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt, so why do mosquitos always go for the face??

Can you imagine a world where the vaccine kills everyone who gets it, and all that's left on Earth are anti-vaxxers? That's really how Idiocracy should have started.

I'm going to Farm and Fleet. I was told there were cute chicks there.

Are there any politicians from Florida who aren't human traffickers? Asking for a friend.

Rings of Power is better than House of the Dragon. Fight me!

The cool thing about being divorced is that I've used more facebook relationship statuses than most people.

I want to talk about how poor and middle class people in my state have to potentially pay thousands of dollars to fix their cars after failing an emissions test, or else they will not be able to renew their vehicle registrations.

Has anyone ever decided to vote Republican after seeing a giant obnoxious "Fuck Biden" flag flying from a pickup truck?