Man I’m SICK. I had 4 days off. Damn near forgot I had a job

DaBaby performed his entire concert on FaceTime because his jet was having problems. NOW THAT’S DEDICATION!!! 🙌🏾 He’s real asf for that

bitches walk alone outside n think my FaceTime call gone protect them😭

u bring ur girlfriend around ur homies once and they start telling the best jokes of their lives... like bro stfuu before i leave her for your funny ass 🤦‍♂️

RT if you love black women

“iight lemme stop bullshittin”

I CANT FUCKING BREATHE

It finally happened! The flight attendant asked "is there a doctor on this flight?" and I leapt up and said yes! Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a razor blade and ballpoint pen. He didn't make it, but the thrill was undeniable. Thinking of going to doctor school now.

I've got a better idea! Why don't I call someone whose JOB it is to conquer Earth?

I'll be giving away a 50 dollar valorant gift card if you want the karambit ! just like and retweet and I'll do a random roll ^^

ft my mom

when a boss in elden ring beats you 3 times in a row and you decide enough is enough

Well this is inconvenient timing…

Now, if you'll excuse me, all this talk has made me hungry.