EveryonesACritic (@criticeveryones) 's Twitter Profile
EveryonesACritic

@criticeveryones

Film Reviews. Short ones here, long ones there. I love to encapsulate ideas in limited words, which seems to suit this format.

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calendar_today14-09-2019 11:52:07

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Sworn to Justice (1996) Cynthia Rothrock hits her head on a tree and becomes the only psychic psychologist who moonlights as a martial arts expert vigilante in the long and illustrious history of straight-to-video action movies. Roundhouses and black-and-white ESP visions galore.

Sworn to Justice (1996)
Cynthia Rothrock hits her head on a tree and becomes the only psychic psychologist who moonlights as a martial arts expert vigilante in the long and illustrious history of straight-to-video action movies. Roundhouses and black-and-white ESP visions galore.
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South Beach (1993) There is nothing positive to say about this film other than Gary Busey is in it and he's going to be in judging legal cases about people's pets on Prime Video soon.

South Beach (1993)
There is nothing positive to say about this film other than Gary Busey is in it and he's going to be in judging legal cases about people's pets on Prime Video soon.
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Mortuary (1983) Extremely misleading poster for a film that is actually a Psycho-esque thriller. A pleasantly perverse role for a young Bill Paxton and amazing dialogue like, 'I wasn't at my warehouse last night and I've never had a séance with a bunch of women' keep it alive.

Mortuary (1983)
Extremely misleading poster for a film that is actually a Psycho-esque thriller. A pleasantly perverse role for a young Bill Paxton and amazing dialogue like, 'I wasn't at my warehouse last night and I've never had a séance with a bunch of women' keep it alive.
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The Redeemer (1978) A boy with a bowl cut wearing a short-sleeved shirt & flares walks out of a pool of water & gives a priest two thumbs on one hand. The priest then kills all the people at a badly attended school reunion for being sinners. At least I think that's what happened.

The Redeemer (1978)
A boy with a bowl cut wearing a short-sleeved shirt & flares walks out of a pool of water & gives a priest two thumbs on one hand. The priest then kills all the people at a badly attended school reunion for being sinners. At least I think that's what happened.
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Arena (1989) Rocky in Space! (Well, Kickboxer, really) The fighter is called Steve Armstrong because he has strong arms and the main villain looks like a vampire who's been spray-painted to disguise himself as a car.

Arena (1989)
Rocky in Space! (Well, Kickboxer, really) The fighter is called Steve Armstrong because he has strong arms and the main villain looks like a vampire who's been spray-painted to disguise himself as a car.
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My brother in blood (actual blood) has started reviewing the goriest films of all time. Starting with a classic, Peter Jackson's Braindead. If you've ever thought about watching it, this will definitely convince you. youtu.be/ig3vjSdVw5g

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Doctor Mordrid (1992) Takes just 75 minutes to pack a colossally epic story of two sorcerers, one evil, one good, fighting over the fate of Earth. Combs looks like he's having a great time and looks amazing in a blue cape which he puts on occasionally when he's sorcering.

Doctor Mordrid (1992)
Takes just 75 minutes to pack a colossally epic story of two sorcerers, one evil, one good, fighting over the fate of Earth. Combs looks like he's having a great time and looks amazing in a blue cape which he puts on occasionally when he's sorcering.
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Mara (2018) Imagine if you had sleep paralysis and were forced to watch the most innocuously dull film about a demon that attacks people with sleep paralysis all the way through. The full 98 minutes. Now that would be a nightmare.

Mara (2018)
Imagine if you had sleep paralysis and were forced to watch the most innocuously dull film about a demon that attacks people with sleep paralysis all the way through. The full 98 minutes. Now that would be a nightmare.
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Absurd (1981) George Eastman violently murders several people intercut with several violently boring scenes, including a bizarre spaghetti-fuelled American football viewing party that has absolutely no relevance to anything else that happens. Unremarkable video nasty.

Absurd (1981)
George Eastman violently murders several people intercut with several violently boring scenes, including a bizarre spaghetti-fuelled American football viewing party that has absolutely no relevance to anything else that happens. Unremarkable video nasty.
thegoreguide (@thegoreguide) 's Twitter Profile Photo

New review is done and posted. Take a look and let know your thoughts. Dolly Deadly - Is this the LGBTQ slasher it is made out to be? youtu.be/JPMqOsSrCe8 Horror Repost Horror Promotion #thegoreguide #dollydeadly #lgbtq #slasher #horror #bullying

New review is done and posted.
Take a look and let know your thoughts.
Dolly Deadly - Is this the LGBTQ slasher it is made out to be? 
youtu.be/JPMqOsSrCe8 

<a href="/Horror_Retweet/">Horror Repost</a> 
<a href="/PromotionHorror/">Horror Promotion</a> 

#thegoreguide #dollydeadly #lgbtq #slasher #horror #bullying
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The Initiation (1984) Wonder if a sorority house has ever forced pledges to watch this film all the way through to see if they'd be bored to death. A dire, predictable slasher with outdated politics that wouldn't be worth projecting onto a vomit-stained bedsheet at a frat party.

The Initiation (1984)
Wonder if a sorority house has ever forced pledges to watch this film all the way through to see if they'd be bored to death. A dire, predictable slasher with outdated politics that wouldn't be worth projecting onto a vomit-stained bedsheet at a frat party.
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I Didn't Come Here To Die (2010) I went to Amazon Prime to watch an entertaining horror film. I didn't go to Amazon Prime to watch this awful nonsense that looks like it was filmed with vaseline smeared all over the lens. But that's what ended up happening.

I Didn't Come Here To Die (2010)
I went to Amazon Prime to watch an entertaining horror film. I didn't go to Amazon Prime to watch this awful nonsense that looks like it was filmed with vaseline smeared all over the lens. But that's what ended up happening.
thegoreguide (@thegoreguide) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Finished with family time and looking to unwind with some gore? Check out my newest video: top 10 Santa Slashers youtu.be/0FNxcXh1IhM #Christmas #horror #slasher #santa

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Solarbabies (1986) A bunch of rollerskating orphans in a waterless world makes friends with a glowing orb. Unfortunately a gothy teenage magician with an owl steals it so they have to go after it. This was an even more boring apocalypse than the 2020 one tried to be.

Solarbabies (1986)
A bunch of rollerskating orphans in a waterless world makes friends with a glowing orb. Unfortunately a gothy teenage magician with an owl steals it so they have to go after it. This was an even more boring apocalypse than the 2020 one tried to be.
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The Other Hell (1980) Despite featuring nuns stabbing each other, the Mother Superior threatening the gardener with his own secateurs and a priest on fire, this is surprisingly dull. I'd rather stare at the poster for 89 minutes.

The Other Hell (1980)
Despite featuring nuns stabbing each other, the Mother Superior threatening the gardener with his own secateurs and a priest on fire, this is surprisingly dull. I'd rather stare at the poster for 89 minutes.
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Black Water: Abyss (2020) Even in lockdown in a year-long pandemic, on a rainy Thursday night at 10pm with no other plans at all, this was still a complete waste of time. A more productive time would have been spent looking for crocodiles in the canals around Birmingham.

Black Water: Abyss (2020)
Even in lockdown in a year-long pandemic, on a rainy Thursday night at 10pm with no other plans at all, this was still a complete waste of time. A more productive time would have been spent looking for crocodiles in the canals around Birmingham.
thegoreguide (@thegoreguide) 's Twitter Profile Photo

New review is up on YT, taking a look at the latest sensation, Psycho Goreman. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. Have you seen PG? Do you want to see it? youtu.be/B8o03X_0L7o . . . #thegoreguide #gore #horror #bloody #gorey #horrormovies #horroraddict #PsychoGoreman