Man, when The Onion hits, it HITS.

Changing the name of the Department of Defense to the Department of War could cost taxpayers over a billion dollars. I introduced a bill that would require those dollars to come out of Secretary Hegseth's travel budget. Taxpayers shouldn't be on the hook for vanity projects.

ILLINOIS — Trump’s Gestapo violently throws female congressional candidate Kat Abughazaleh to the ground

For Clarification - The President of the United States is a 34 time Convicted Felon who’s in the Epstein Files. The First Lady is a former Prostitute/mail order bride/Mistress who fucked Epstein. The Vice President is a Crack Baby who’s changed his name 3 times, And wears

Secretary Kristi Noem U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement CBP Are you fukking kidding me? Get an attorney.

Just now: Woman protesting outside Broadview ICE facility is shot repeatedly with sting balls, thrown to the ground, and ultimately maced point blank in the face as she attempts to block ICE agents from leaving the facility in a vehicle.

For a month Trump said he was personally paying for the ballroom. Now we learn he’s been shaking down corporations to pay for it who want something from the govt. Another corrupt scam between Trump and CEOs that he lied about. I doubt he pays a penny.

How is this not a fireable offense from Ingraham? She is explicitly celebrating and endorsing and encouraging nonviolence against Democratic congressional candidates.

Trump just killed the H1B visa. Companies now have to pay $100K per year to bring foreign hi-skilled workers to the U.S. This will dissuade them from doing so, some jobs will be offshored. For Indian techies, the American dream just got killed.

The camera had a clear, total & unobstructed view of the alleged shooter's perch. Why not release the portion of the video where the suspect arrives & sets up? Why not release the portion where he takes the shot, disassembles the gun, stuffs it in his pants & takes off running?

Kristi Noem is going to have a bad day today. You’re welcome, America.

Wow. All of these people changing sides with the exact same words.

That’s me in the video. And a Fox News host just celebrated me being assaulted by ICE. If ICE will do this to a congressional candidate with a big platform, just imagine what they’re doing to the people they’re kidnapping.

Interesting. How will MAGA respond to this news?

Oh, shut up

After all these years, he still doesn’t know the difference between asylum seekers and insane asylums. Fuc*ing moron

The Trump administration just told reporters at the Pentagon they are no longer allowed to report information if it’s not government “authorized.” If they do not obey, they will have their credentials revoked. This is not a big deal. If you want to know what’s going on, just do

What the literal fuck?!?

Imagine threatening Afghanistan over an airbase when it was Trump who signed the deal with the Taliban that surrendered the country in the first place.

🚨HOLY SHIT: Trump suggests people shouldn’t feel bad for Biden having cancer: “Biden was always a mean sob. Not working out too well for him right now. So, when you start feeling sorry for him, remember he’s a bad guy.” So much for their BS lectures.