It’s never a pen, not arsed what anyone says his forearm is behind his back he just can’t make it vanish.

Missing the first 2 competitive games at Bramley Moore.

Your Toffees for our first ever Premier League game at Hill Dickinson Stadium! 🔵

Up the fucking toffees

We have completed the transfer of winger Tyler Dibling from Southampton for an undisclosed fee on a four-year contract. Welcome to Everton, Tyler! 🔵

Better than our usual league cup outing but still the usual same score at this point

Tyler Dibling I’m loving the look brother, as another long haired cool guy (also great at football) but please invest in a hairband of some variety.

FT. Yesssssss!!!!! UP THE TOFFEESSSSSSS!!! ✊ [2-3] #WOLEVE

Fucking get in

Finally get to watch the blues today, the inevitable defeat will be entirely my fault, I apologise in advance.

Positive performance from the blues there, defo the better team but draw was fair, still ain’t got that cutting edge up top.

Rawdogging the derby (at home and no ale) what a treat.

The long balls ain’t working you fucking dopes

This the Everton I know and hate (to love). Pathetic.

Shame that first half hour was so abject, as we would have given ourselves a good chance there, second half was much better.

Harrowing these little glimpses into what life might have been like without Pickford between the sticks all these years isn’t it? Terrible selection to start and another season without a pot on the horizon.