Conspiracy Theory: the person who farted during the Sleep Token show is the same person who shit in the mosh pit at the Turnstile show.

childhood vs. adulthood

Bro, the world got so bad that even Anti-Flag broke up? They took one look outside and were like “Even WE can’t fully state how fucked things are. We out.”

Eating chicken fingers while watching WW2 docs in your car was not a look I was intending on sporting, but I will wear it shamelessly.

Allowing yourself to grieve and cry for 15 minutes is healthy, mature, and important. But all of the lead up just feels like I’m holding in an embarrassing fart that I have to run home to let out.

Just said “you too” after a server told me to enjoy my food. I’ll be casually passing myself away after this lunch.

You can always reply and THEN have the messages stop.

Bear vs. Shark in my headphones makes me feel like I’m grocery shopping with a 7 inch dick.

One of the best edits I’ve ever seen.

Unequivocally the best 90’s cartoon.

Hey are you The Promise Ring’s seminal 1997 album? Because nothing feels good.

This is the year of teams. I don’t want a relationship, a partnership, friendship, or a group project- I want fucking teammates. If we aren’t all in this together, then we aren’t in it at all.

It would be so sick if every religion got to have a Super Bowl commercial.

Well, I did not have “J.D. Vance searches for dolphin porn” on my Saturday night bingo card, but here we are. Rule 34 never fails.

Sometimes it really breaks my heart how fucking bad the Blue Jackets are.

Drinking bone broth in the mornings is a lot like doing CrossFit. Unless I tell you, you will never know

I’m no longer sorry. This is actually the only good thing I’ve ever made.

Turnstile plus CKY equals Drug Church?

I might have been at a Rise Against show, but the farting person in front of me was Rancid.

Anyone who loved the submersible should be a Formula 1 fan. 5 billionaires in a submarine? Not exciting at all. How about 20 young millionaires strapped to land rockets and like 5 of them suck at driving? I’ll watch that 23 times a year.