My name is Knowa. I’m in the fight to elect Kamala Harris and Tim Walz because my entire future is at stake. Can we get to 100,000 followers before the end of the day?

Tens of thousands of Israelis demonstrated tonight in Tel Aviv protesting the Netanyahu government's steps that delay the Gaza hostage deal (video: Amir Turkle)

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want two thousand of something. - Mitch Hedberg I went to a place to eat and it said "Breakfast Anytime" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. - Stephen Wright

Lara Trump: Hey Auto-Tune, I would like you to clean up my vocal track. Auto-Tune: Uhh, I'm really busy right now.

Hi pot meet kettle. “The US continues to investigate what it regards as corrupt practices by Venezuela’s government.” cnn.com/2024/09/02/pol…

(Texts a mom received from her son during the shooting today at the H.S. In Georgia. BOY: School shooting. I’m scared. MOM: I’m leaving work. I love you. BOY: I love you too. (She got in her car and raced to the school)

zeffy.com/ticketing/bbd1…

I’m so sorry Donald J. Trump. You so desperately crave real human connection. But you just won’t let yourself feel that because you’re Mom never loved you, and therefore you can’t love yourself.

Go fuck yourself you intellectually dishonest piece of shit.

Happy Birthday Sonny Rollins, born: September 7, 1930

It's impossible that this is the first time the officers involved in assaulting Tyreek Hill acted like that.

We apologize in advance for this tweet: Who let the dogs out? washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/…

🗽💋 It’s David Cross & Super Pals on Friday Sep 20th @ Central Park SummerStage with Ilana Glazer, Jason Sudeikis, Eugene Mirman, Robby Hoffman, Jim Norton, Zach Zucker, Shane Torres, and Karli Marulli… Get tickets wherever you love doing so!! Live Nation NYC Central Park

SO funny!

Te gustan los perros caliente 🌭? Venga aqui. No gatos Ruff ruff 🐶 meow 😻 #presidentialdebate

I post it every year, Hunter S. Thompson using an ESPN column to write this one week after 9/11

Don't wait – check your state's voter registration deadline today and make sure you're registered and ready to vote. And then share this with your friends and family so everyone's ready to vote early or by Election Day. VoteSaveAmerica.com/Obama

PostMortem Tour tix avail here: linktr.ee/sarahsilverman

SO funny. Lorne Saturday Night Live - SNL. I don't know the creator of this but may I suggest you consider hiring him.

What amazing innovation did you envision being part of our future but never came to fruition: I'll start. Flying toilets.