🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

This is the most accurate description of how I spent corona.

I’m changing my name.

I’m going to change my name and start wearing a big paper mache smiley face.

“Writer, you are a writer, but you better write quick cause your paper’s on fire. Writer, you are a writer, but you better write quick cause your pencil’s on fire.”

Today’s recording procrastination brought to you by: my landlord using the loudest leaf blower ever invented.

The Republican Party will implode in the next 20-30 years, a three party system will arise out of that. Leftist(Democratic-Socialist), centralist(the fiscally conservative/socially liberal), and libertarian party. Calling it now. Trump killed the Republican Party.

The mRNA vaccines (Pfizer and Moderna) are kind of brilliant at a science level. I’ve had a few people in my real non-Twitter life ask me to explain how it works so I’m going to try my best here in this thread while I’m waiting for a patient to show.

Classic Meme

Stimulus Stimulus for corporations: for taxpayers:

On the lifelong quest for the perfect amount of eye contact in conversations. Respectful but not creepy. I’ll die not knowing.

Merry Christmas, nothing like debating the downfalls of capitalism with family.

safe travels villain

Y’all are fucking weirdos. Doesn’t this all seem extremely inefficient?

I never hear concerns about how the McDonald’s CEO making $18,012,549 per year might drive up the price of a Big Mac.

SpaceX is going to put a literal Dogecoin on the literal moon

The Dogefather SNL May 8