It never ends.

the vegetables in my freezer watching me grab pizza rolls again

If it’s not out of whack, is it in-whack? Just whack is also bad 🧐

VIOLIN. CORE.

when ppl ask if I have any hobbies

Growing up, Homelander dreamed of working at his local Vought A Burger. Recently, his wish came true, as Vought shut down a restaurant and staged pre-selected customers, so Homelander could “serve” “people” “food.” Thanks, Homelander, for showing everyone how you’re a true man of

~90 days back in the gym

if all health insurance CEOs live in fear of being murdered maybe premiums will come down

I always describe my ailments as “moderate to severe” - just rolls off the tongue just like the commercials!

Twenty One Pilots absolutely crushed their Game Awards performance.

What an insanely talented performance! 👏 tyler jøseph

Hit 405 lbs. on deadlifts today. 5x …what am I becoming

“The chips are hand-tossed!” …did…did you break my chips? It sounds like you broke my chips.