if #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2? itunes.apple.com/us/app/tweet-m…

Karaoke is Japanese for "tone deaf".

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Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. itunes.apple.com/us/app/tweet-m…

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Friction can be a drag sometimes. Tweet Magic HD - itunes.apple.com/us/app/tweet-m…

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? "Tweet Magic HD" itunes.apple.com/us/app/tweet-m…

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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

If you're happy and you know it see a shrink.

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

It's not who you know, It's whom you know.

If guns kill people, then spoons make people fat.

Doesn't expecting the unexpecting make the unexpected become the expected?

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I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.