Been trying to shovel out my car for hours but my chocolate cravings are so strong right now, that I’m just gonna ride my f&cking bike. #SnowStorm2021 #PMS #GodSpeed #CadburyCrunchyDates

What’s something you say that only writers will understand? *In a frantic tone* I NEED MORE TENSION! #writing

Wife caught me walking to the bathroom with a scented candle and asked if I was pouring her a bath. I didn’t have the guts to explain the real reason so now I’m standing in my own poop sauna debating my next move

Parents of teen who took her own life say Fredericton ER failed her just days earlier: ift.tt/2NIaIOr

Vote for the Elsipogtog First Nation, so they can get a new rink! #Hockeyville #Hockey #Canada 🏒

"Ok, I get the idea. I get the idea" -- Stacey Abrams gave Sen. John Kennedy waaaaay more than he bargained for when he asked her to list off provisions of the Georgia voter suppression bill she objects to

I want to be more like her. When I try and speak up or defend myself, I sound like a fucking mouse.

I’ve named all the birds that come to my feeder. That’s my life now. I’ve become the bird lady from Home Alone. #twitcher

Wait. If Bill and Melinda Gates split up... who controls our vaccine microchips? Will we spend some weekends with Bill and some with Melinda? Do we get a say? Is this our fault? 🥺

Happy Birthday, Bob Dylan! ♥️

Holy shit

Chilling. Definitely worth a moment of your time. 🌳

Dear stupid cunts saying we shouldn’t put animals before people.. 1. The animals go in the hold where people can’t go. 2. This is an extra, privately funded plane that will allow MORE people to be saved. #OperationArk

They are safe! Thank you Pen Farthing NOWZAD ♥️

My son borrowed my phone & told me I had 86 tabs open in Google. That’s just how mothers over 40 roll, kid. It’s a right of passage.

Change a Christmas song as a screenwriter: “Baby, it’s EXT. COLD”

Sounds right.

Daily Mail releases two more, perfectly normal Images of Kate Middleton.