I take this tweet back because the ‘Stros were cheatin

Never overlook the Nellies #BallNight #ClimbWithUs #TrustTheClimb

We shouldn’t storm when we beat Maryland, Maryland should storm when they beat us. #RankPennStateBasketball

The country is anxious to hear the testimony of John Bolton, but we have not heard a WORD from Troy Bolton. He needs to go before the Senate immediately! #WhatAreTheyHiding

Democrats would love a Senate subpoena of Mike Pompeo, but let’s not forget ELLEN Pompeo who may be equally as complicit. #WhatAreTheyHiding

I respect the NCAA’s decision to put everyone’s safety first. That said, every team deserves recognition for their season’s success. Brackets should still be announced on Selection Sunday.

Win, win, win, win, win, win, extra inning win, win, win, win...

Can you believe Jim Harbaugh is not going to lose to Ohio State this year?

Why do I watch this godforsaken sport??

And Sammy Sosa accidentally grabbed a corked bat

Me when I looked up who we’re playing in the NIT

I’m assuming everyone reads Bernie’s tweets in Bernie’s voice right?

Parking lot designers be like: “Well what if one day out of the blue 1200 people wanted to come to this random bowling alley?!? We need to prepare for that.”

Frank Atwood was a shallow and soulless character on an otherwise good show. Who’s with me?

I had no idea the Rockies GM is a cynical Pirates Facebook commenter

Japan should automatically disqualified from winning gold in softball for wearing shorts

Breaking: Alexander Ovechkin has been traded to LA Kings. Chase Young and Terry McLaurin are headed to the Rams.

Whenever I think of music as a concept my brain starts playing the song “Badlands” as an example

That’s how averages work CNN

Sources within the White House tell me we’re playing for Nukes. Stakes could not be higher.