It would be funnier if Delroy Lindo’s name was Lelroy Dindo

My future’s so bleak I have to wear a head lamp

It’s weird how much straws are an essential part of drug-based routines

Just referred to drying as “unmoistening”

Let a man not be judged for the cleanliness of his bong but the quality of his character

Right wing produce stand called VegLords

Airports are living nightmares because we’re being karmically punished for stealing flight from the birds

If it’s vacation time for your boy you’re only getting one word texts, I am sorry ma’am

The longer the legally required disclaimer the worse it is for you

West west y’all

A sincere willy 🌜💧 post…. not so much these days…

Is there anything less dignifying than dropping the paper towel tube and having it roll away and unravel across your whole damn apartment

So That Was A Grift: A History of Technological Innovations 2010-2025

SPIN CYCLE RIGHT MEOW

Eskettitcism

Arugula is the best leafy green that sounds like an ODB adlib

Always make the mistake of thinking the bus window’s telling me the truth about my reflection

Powerless against a pup that just wants LOVE

Shih-Tzus… don’t see ‘em much anymore

Speedskating would be a lot cooler if it was just giving skateboarders meth