Got my nuts professionally scratched and found a $20 on the sidewalk. Big day.

Y’all ever eaten a tomato before? I have and that shit was WILD

James Joyce: "Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age." Also James Joyce: "I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know the smell" Mans wild AF

My gf is awesome bc she has wet wipes next to her toilet for me, :)

Do girls fart on their birthday?

How do I get my girlfriend to stop pitching me pyramid schemes?

How in the FRICK is my gf so gosh darn hot