me still tryna shoot at the iranians after they den blew my shit back

I let people think whatever the hell they want.

For your sanity, let people think what they want.

Avoid men without degrees. They’re stupid, insecure and badmind and will definitely make it your problem.

i hate to admit it but theyre cool as fuck

Me: I burnt my boyfriend’s clothes, and destroyed his car, I also used all the money in his credit card! Chat GPT: Take a deep breath, you did nothing wrong, we can fix this step by step.

I will always cherish this story, and I will continue to discuss and commend it, regardless of how many years have passed.

me after being at work for 1 hour

DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN DO NOT BE DISTRACTED.

I hate a “Well you didnt either” kind of man. Fucking lead.

I’m not mad at it. Men are really ugly, about time they start getting some help!

When he starts telling you he’s going through a lot so you know your free trial is over.

trying not to kill myself at work

That’s why I like that iMessage notifies me twice cos I be forgetting sometimes

fridays don't even hit the same anymore, we just be tired

weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious like wtf was that

Me after running one errand: Yeah I’m not doing anything else today that was a lot.

Sometimes life gets so serious you can’t even check on your friends you just have to hope they’re fighting back against life too

How it feels to quit the same job twice

me after messing up my entire life