everybody’s been telling me to post this on twitter, so here’s a video of my mom and dad trying to kill a snake 😅

“Can’t turn a whore into a housewife” lmao ok first of all I can’t be a housewife when you live with your parents

If you lose your one and only there's always room here for the lonely 🎶

How does one “shoot their shot”? Asking for a friend.

love me like i love u always and forever

Angela: You fell into a Koi pond? Michael: Maybe I was trying to save a child. Angela: So a child had fallen in? Michael: Not yet.

I love when katelynn says “don’t listen to what I say but you should do this...” she knows I’m gunna do It anyways 😂

Hi