I don't think Texas girls are the prettiest around. I know that they are.

I guess you could say I'm a recovering vegetarian.

"I will take you to walmart to buy a bullet, to kill you" - actual professor quote

Boys: I like girls with curves Girls: I like boys with class Me: I like classes with a curve

$1.99 gas? What year is this?

I know I'm back on the ranch when I trade my USB drive in for a pocket knife.

There is nothing quite like the taste of diesel fuel in the morning.

Achievement unlocked: eating while driving level - meatball sub

If #cxnats is really cancelled, who's in for a calf-wrestling, sharpshooting, whiskey drinking competition to decide who's champ? #texas

You might be an engineering student if you have a favorite coordinate system.

Happy Birthday #kelseylatta! 🎉🎈🎂

I would like to permanently substitute guacamole for sour cream on all Mexican food. Thanks.

Say you handle transactions for a multi-billion dollar company sounds much better than saying that you are a cashier at McDonald's.

How to comfort a grammar nazi: there, their, they're.

If you don't put units of measurement I'm going to assume you are using cats per donuts.

If you ever feel useless, remember: someone installs blinkers on BMWs.

Bluetooth Self-portrait Monopod sounds so much more sophisticated than Selfie Stick.

I thought I was becoming a morning person until I put cereal in the fridge this morning.

"Awwwww that little sidewalk culvert is so cute!" -#kelseylatta #thingsengineerssay

turn up? how about turn in.... your homework stay in school kids