We really just be playing the game of life in VR with mods huh

I pray my house is haunted cause if not where tf did all these clan members come from?!

Why do people say when girls squirt it’s just pee? Like girls don’t pee I thought everyone knew this!

Do you think robots get tattoos welded on?

Imagine if you could get AIDS from breathing someone’s fart. I think everyone would have AIDS from all the crop dusting done

Orthopaedic crocs

When I’m fat and old I want a shirt that says “my tits are saggier than yours”

Hey War Thunder why don’t you make it so we can choose not to play dogshit game modes like air domination if you don’t want to! Like I’m try to level up a BOMBER and it’s hard to do that when I can’t BOMB things I have to take my BOMBER into DOGFIGHTS! You’re all retards I swear

Hey Hail sorry I mean War Thunder why don’t you make tanks start with armour piercing considering it’s a TANK vs. OTGER ARMOURED TANKS YOU STUPID CUNTS, or how about when the marker says “green” here’s a thought…the round actually goes through instead of ricocheting

How do we know walruses aren’t vampires?

Food doesn’t actually expire, expiry dates were made up by Big Food! It’s not spoiled milk it’s semi-cheese #mytummyhurtsandIdontknowwhy

It’s weird how the Epstein list came out and the craziest things are 1.Donald Trump never went there 2.Micheal Jackson actually just liked kids and wasn’t a pedo 3.Stephen hawking liked orgies with minors and watching midgets solve mathematical equations on a chalkboard too high

With all these porch pirates some one should be the reverse unabomber. Put an Amazon box outside with a pipe bomb in it that blows up when you open the box. It’s be easier tracking these “people” down

I’m just saying the “N” key is dangerously close to the “B” key when typing “bigger”

The cops in #GTA5 do a better job of stopping crime (even if they blast a guy that tapped their car) than the real LA cops do

Erbody gangsta till the hot brain freeze

I could survive a nuke cause I have eclipse glasses🕶️😎

Fuck using love as the secret ingredient I bake with envy and regret. Makes my cookies taste like hate and sadness

Dog pussy freaks me out

I met Annie Murphy at work today she was the Ted to my Schitt day