being single is so fire till about 10:47 pm

Saying “no way that’s targeting” 47 times on a college football Saturday

Another failed talkin stage it’s cool cause I miss my ex anyway

Guys after losing a girl they weren't even dating

Saturdays for the foreseeable future 8 AM 💦🍆✊🏼 9 AM 📺👴🏻 10 AM 📺👴🏻 11 AM 📺👴🏻 12 PM 🏈🍺🎰 1 PM 🏈🍺🎰 2 PM 🏈🍺🎰 3 PM 🏈🍺🎰 4 PM 🏈🍺🎰 5 PM 🏈🍺🎰 6 PM 🏈🍺🎰 7 PM 🏈🍺🎰 8 PM 🏈🍺🎰 9 PM 🏈🍺🎰 10 PM 🏈🍺🎰 11 PM 🏈🍺🎰 12 PM 🏈🍺🎰 1 AM 🤜🏻👱🏼‍♀️ 2 AM 👮🏼‍♂️🚓

Just yelled "Run the damn ball" outta nowhere. Getting some reps in for tomorrow

Coworker: “How was your long weekend? What’d you get up to?” Me:

Idc if we’re beefing, if you wanna go see a movie with me lemme know im down ill put the beef aside for cinema 💯

i want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery and i act like i don’t want to go

plans for today:

Mr.Beast is at my house rn and he said first two hoes who get here get $10k

You’re in your mid 20s. No house, no wife, no kids. Not even close to any of them either.

Admit it, folks. It’s inevitable lol. #Postseason

everything feels nice without protection

hmu if you wanna do both

when you finally made it to payday after living off $4.99 for the past 2 weeks