Just like most of your escalators, walkways, and elevators, it's out of service. Luxor Hotel & Casino

We clearly can't fire the manager because there's a 4 pm start tomorrow and that's too quick of a turnaround.

I was writing these after losses in text messages until they actually went ahead and did it. Because they did this about 3-4 weeks too late to save the season.

Robert Edwards could not be reached for comment.

Cool. More Dean Letourneau style 1st round draft picks who score 0 goals in an entire season and have fewer assists than the goaltender.

This was such an innocent time.

And obviously thanks also for the chance to avoid talking about your shit baseball team. Remember them? You had a bobblehead of yourself made?

Uh oh, better take him out now so they can use 4 pitchers to get 6 outs. That's the Oriole Way. And then wonder why the bullpen is burned to shreds two days from now.

Happy 100th birthday to Mr. Miyagi

Dickie Dunn wrote this, it's gotta be true

We're all working hard for Sean O'Donnell and Hal Gill to try and close that loop.

Ekblad will be paid exclusively in steroids to get around any and all taxes, and also the cap.

Its a Matt Beleskey tribute signing! Looking forward to Donnie Boy giving up assets just to get this deal off the books in two years.

Sure the Orioles are dead and losing 8-0 to the terrible Marlins, but Mike Elias has a huge erection because it's draft day, the day where he gets to select the finest underslot left handed college outfielders. #Birdland

Looking forward to an extensive tour focused on getting Liz Cheney and no one else to buy the book.

Always nice to get a player who will help you <checks notes> 3 years after the world ends. Especially when you trade a guy signed for next year who they now have to replace.

Holy shit and I mean that literally for this cunt.

Well, that's because you're a fucking idiot. Honestly.