just accidentally said "we did it joe" and i feel like i should get tarred and feathered for that offense

can’t wait to hear John Mulaney’s “Horse In The Hospital 2: Oh God We Let It Back In”

i love new york because you never know if the person next door is getting murdered or just watching sports

god i had forgotten about the absolute horror of watching cabinet appointments roll in

why is every newly-hired-CCO photographed in an alley

Donald Trump announces George Bluth Sr. as Head of Housing and Urban Development

i’m sorry but when the wizard of oz stepped out and revealed himself and it was jeff fucking goldblum that was the funniest thing that has ever happened

I needed this you don’t get it

ariana and cynthia act like they've had exactly three glasses of white wine every time they're interviewed together

BREAKING: logging into email about to get really fucking annoying for thousands of employees

Just Salad should really be called And Also Salad

gonna start saying “how dare you” instead of “bless you” and just see what happens

them: there are plenty of fish in the sea the sea:

if you give a mouse a cookie he’s going to cheat on it with a tiktoker named brekkie

been back in brooklyn less than 12 hours and already had a delightful conversation at my favorite bar with a drunk old poly lesbian. i love it here.

LADIES YOU CAN’T SAY THE WRONG THING TO THE RIGHT PERSON

nobody: the richest country in the world:

brookskarly.bsky.social