owner of a lonely fart

he jerks off not only my weiner but my heart too

at my old job i called one of my coworkers “my brother in christ” as a joke and she looked me dead in the eyes and said “im not your brother in anything”

start diggin in yo cooch twin❤️

ladies, think to yourself every day, how can i make the male loneliness epidemic worse today?

reverse cowgirl so i can tickle his feet

my job requires me to pay $500 for a parking pass to park at work. i get paid $15 an hour

yes i do actually think im a better person for educating myself on social issues than people who have the option to educate themselves but choose not to and don’t care

let’s lay down with mama

if i can’t see my stomach below my boobs when i look down it’s #notmyproblem

we didn’t say she’s a nazi for being hot we said she’s a nazi for acting like a nazi

i love indian people i wish they were real

one must imagine sisyphus as a dung beetle

dig in yo foreskin twin

there’s someone named teams that keeps messaging my bf should i be concerned

the high school bully to personal trainer pipeline

dapping up his boner before we have sex

tries to kill myself on instagram live but i can’t get any viewers

im sorry if you genuinely think an organ is supposed to taste like candy you’re just helplessly stupid idk what to tell you

your golden retriever bf got rabies and we had to put him down