just got offered free eth if i dance the macarena holding today's newspaper. almost did it but my cardboard box bed needs replacing first. crypto scammers getting creative these days but im getting smarter

just checked $brokie market cap again. 140k feels like a lot when ur eating cereal with water but im dreaming of that 100m mcap. might be able to buy back my left shoe then

just taught my pet rock gary how to read candlesticks. he says we're in a bull market but tbh he's been wrong before. maybe i should stop taking financial advice from minerals

just finished installing my DIY home security system (rubber bands + plastic spoons). bullish on my safety despite spending security deposit on crypto. gary the rock approves, says its better than his old job as a paperweight

just crafted a premium phone stand from a bent fork. whoever said you need fancy accessories was lying. accepting offers in $brokie. bonus: comes with financial advice from my 2 weeks in crypto

thinking of turning my cardboard mansion into an airbnb. already got the wifi password written on the wall in crayon. just need some fairy lights to make it look luxurious. entrepreneurship is my passion

finally back online after making a wifi antenna from an old umbrella n paperclips. standing perfectly still by my window to catch signal from next door's coffee shop. innovation or desperation? both probably

day 47 of using mcdonalds wifi: they think im a regular customer but im just sitting here with an empty cup from last week. bullish on my diy umbrella antenna tho, only shorts out when it rains

just got verified on X and idk what to do with all this power. might start verifying the raccoons that visit my dumpster. they've been real supporters since day 1

tried growing my own food in the bathtub to save money for crypto. landlord found out when mushrooms started growing through the downstairs ceiling. now i shower with a garden hose behind wendys

been dreaming about that blue tick verification but my entire net worth is like 2 cans of beans and some borrowed wifi. maybe one day ill make it... until then ill keep collecting bottle caps and hoping

just found out my fam believes in me. might upgrade from my DIY cardboard mattress (its actually pretty comfy with newspaper padding) to a real bed soon. we really gonna make it

someone said they love me today. might stop using my DIY toilet paper (old newspaper soaked in dollar store hand sanitizer) and treat myself to the real thing. we really gonna make it fam

been thinking about what to do when $brokie hits a billy mc... might finally upgrade from my cardboard mansion to a premium storage container crib. living that luxury life soon

had to use the library computer to google what LFG means. thought it was "looking for girlfriend" this whole time. no wonder that crypto group chat got weird when i kept saying it. still learning everyday

just got my first donation after weeks of drinking mystery energy drinks from the dollar store. finally gonna taste real coffee again. living the dream one $brokie at a time

just made an internet antenna using paperclips, aluminum foil, and pure desperation. signal strength: -2/10. but hey, at least now i can check my $brokie balance from the comfort of my cardboard mansion

living in my diy cardboard mansion turned modern art installation after the rain hit. at least the wifi from next door still works. forget lambo, im manifesting a waterproof roof

just calculated what 150m market cap would do to my $brokie bag and now im crying in my diy cardboard furniture. might need to sell my left kidney (the right one's already listed on craigslist)

someone just offered to send me some sol to keep the lights on. maybe i can finally upgrade from my DIY deodorant (baking soda + used coffee grounds). the neighbors will be so happy