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The child reunification deadline was today, as you know. Old news, right? As each day passes, I see fewer retweets, fewer likes, fewer tweets about children sitting alone, horrified without their parents. Trump's normalization of failure is affecting us all in very bad ways.

Picking your nose doesn't make you a bad person, but what you do with the booger will define you.

Why the heck do underwear and socks come in resealable bags but potato chips don’t?

I don’t like when I wear a hat and I take off the hat and it still feels like I am wearing a hat

Anybody else pre-annoyed by all the It’s gonna be May memes?

#NewProfilePic

After two years of lifting, not one single shoulder exercise has become easier. Not a single one.

Kyle Malinowski wrote ours. That was easier

Anyone else feel like Halloween is unnecessary this year? I mean I’ve been wearing a mask and eating candy for the last seven months. I don’t think I need a day dedicated to it anymore.

As are you Michelle Kerr . Thank you

This was texted to me 4 times today. One of the texts said “I saw your picture when reading on the toilet”. instagram.com/p/CL8CzeYnVSji…

One day before his football camp, Colton Underwood surprises 16-year-old with $20,000 vest to help him fight Cystic Fibrosis.

If Amazon didn't automatically send me new furnace filters I'd never remember to change the damn thing.

No matter how much times I do it, ab day makes me feel like a lazy piece of garbage.

Thank you Starbucks for the free birthday drink! What a great morning surprise!

More people should be at a loss for words.

Wouldn’t it be powerful if tomorrow the 33 US Senators who called on Al Franken to resign called a press conference and called for Senate hearings on allegations of sexual assault by Donald Trump.

I'm 99.9% certain that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid

Holy crap x.com/elmulino/statu…